|
karthika
|
 |
« on: May 14, 2011, 11:54:19 PM » |
|
 By Karthika Nair~~~~ 26th April….It was two days that Swami was gone. He showed no signs of coming back. Had been speaking to some students and inmates of the Ashram. Everyone seemed to be waiting for Bhagawan’s RETURN. It was amazing how ALL of us devotees, no matter from which region we were, hoped, expected and thought the same. After all the thread that bound us together, was the same.
There are some nuances, certain ‘some things’ that ONLY Sai devotees understand and can relate to. To an ‘outsider’ it may seem perfectly absurd.
The Ashram precincts were agog with activity. The Prime Minister Mr. Manmohan Singh was expected in, along with Mrs. Sonia Gandhi. The Police and press personnel, seemed to be everywhere. A sight I had NEVER seen in Prashanti Nilayam, before.
27th April…. Bhagawan was to be laid to rest with state honours.The heart sank like never before. Only Swami’s immediate family, the trustees, students, ex-students, staff and their respective families and the Ashram residents were to be allowed into Sai Kulwanth Hall to witness the proceedings. For the rest of the devotees, huge screens had been put up, at various points in the Ashram, for all to be able to view the goings on, inside SK Hall.
I stood in queue, hoping I would see somebody with whom I could tag myself and get in!
After a couple of hours’ wait, patience started wearing off. All the gates were heavily guarded by the seva dal and the police. NO ONE was allowed in, unless one fell into one of the categories mentioned before. I don’t know what came over me, but I just stepped out of line and decided to go and speak to the seva dal and try and get inside.
My son and daughter shook their heads sympathetically. Ma was losing it. Greif had done strange things to her-the look they exchanged, seemed to say. I would take my chances. I walked up to the gate and just walked past the seva dal and the police. I had goose bumps as I marched in, unseen, by more than a dozen pairs of eyes!
Bhagawan was laid to rest. Watched it all, numb with pain. When we came out, saw devotees in large numbers looking up, at the sky with hands joined. The Moon had appeared, in the clear afternoon sky, in broad daylight. Was it Swami giving darshan?
Walked back. My legs carried me, but they didn’t feel like they belonged to me. Slumped on the step of our room and stared into nothing. And then the tears flowed. I have seldom cried, like I did. My whole body wrecked in silent sobs. Felt so bereft. Don’t know how long I sat there, weeping, like that. In some time, I felt a pair of gentle hands on my shoulders. Thinking it might be my daughter, didn’t bother looking up. And then I heard HIM,”When have I EVER dealt with you in a physical level, for you to cry like this?” My head shot up and heavily tearing eyes flew open. There was no one around me. A HUGE sense of calm, a new burst of energy, shot through, all of me. Strangely the mouth tasted of vibhooti. The tears ceased. He had taken charge.
Swami in all the, over four decades, of my association with HIM, has NEVER ONCE spoken to me, as in, personally. He has answered ALL my questions, taken care of EVERY situation, given solace, unfailingly, every time, even when I have not been able to pray for myself. He has, whether or not I asked for it, been with me every step of the way, guiding, guarding and leading,but all, on a higher plane.
The only two words that I can perhaps say were indicated to me, ever, in person, by Swami, were “wait wait”. I had been in Dubai about six months. Had put on so much of weight, it was almost sinful. It was my first visit to Puttaparthi, after having gone to the UAE. I chanced to sit behind a lady who was wanting to hand over a letter to Bhagawan. Swami did not take it, but she kept trying to thrust it at HIM. He turned and looked at her and said, very quietly, “Wait! Wait!” and then HE shot a look at me. To me, it immediately, translated as “Weight! Weight”!
Went in the evening, again, to bid a final farewell, to my Lord and Master. As I stood near the Samadhi, Kavitha Krishnamurthy’s well known bhajan rendered for Swami’s Mother, the Divine Easwaramma, ’Janam diya tu ne Sai ko,Hum pe kiya upkaar’ belted out. The grief I felt, cannot, ever be described.
My Mother, son, Rahul, daughter, Karuna, and I walked out of SK Hall, silent, each lost in their personal worlds of sorrow. As we reached behind the old mandir building, remembered the numerous times, I had gone into the mandir to take vibhooti. It was now heavily guarded. It all seemed so out of sorts. Like my home had been invaded by strangers.
As if, out of the blue, a gentle man, standing with a plastic bag, full of vibhooti, stood in our path and smilingly, said, to us, “This is part of the vibhooti that was put on Swami”, he said. “My duty is over. I am leaving now. But I will share this vibhooti with you. I am a policeman and had come in here on special duty”, he explained, as he, heaped our palms with this most exquisite smelling Vibhooti.
The fragrance of it lingered, even after, we had transferred it, safely, on to paper, and later.even after we had washed our hands.
Time had flown so fast. It seemed just like yesterday that Uncle Chakravorthy had come to our home and for the first time, Dad had patiently heard all that he had to say about “this trickster” as Dad had always referred, to, Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, as, before this. I was about four then.
Jai Sai RamCourtesy : http://www.indianewspost.com/lifestyle/47903-wait_wait.htm
Karthika Nair is a freelance journalist and columnist. Spiritualism is her favourite subject. Besides, she writes on parenting and travel & tourism. Karthika has been an ardent devotee of Sri Sathya Sai Baba almost all her life and is actively into Sathya Sai activities, including being a Bal Vikas Guru to hundreds of children. She is also a reiki healer. She can be contacted at nairkarthika@hotmail.com
|
Friendship is the expression of unshakable LOVE, LOVE that is noble, pure, free from desire or egoism.....Sairam  |
|
|
