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karthika
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« on: May 23, 2011, 06:01:03 AM » |
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.gif) By Karthika Nair~~~~~~~ When I reached back, there were two ladies sitting in the office. One elderly and the other in her mid forties or so. The elderly ‘Aunty’, took one look at me and asked, kindly,” Kya hua bachche?”(What’s happened, child?)
I explained the whole situation, trying hard not to cry, but little sobs did come through.
’Uncle’ also helped with explaining the rules of Prashanti Nilayam, and his sheer inability to be able to help.
The elderly Aunty, at once shot it down and, said”Oh there is no place in the shed. And in any case you can’t send this child there.”
That was Balbir Aunty. Mataji as she was fondly called by the inmates of the Ashram.
She was a permanent resident and in charge of the ladies side of devotees and the ladies’ side of the mandir Verandah.
The younger ‘Aunty’ was her niece, an NRI, settled in Singapore, and had a room of her own in the foreigner’s building.
The two ladies spoke something in low tones and then the younger one said.”You can stay with me. It’s alright, my family hasn’t come with me so there’s plenty of space in my room”.
Relief swept through me in giant waves.
The room was most comfortable and Aunty was to stay for ten days, too, before she left for Singapore. Coincidence?? Again??
This was just perfect for me. Rajinder Aunty had three sons and no daughters. She took care of me, like her own child. Well honed with the place, she was a perfect guide.
Swami had taken care alright. The eternal parent. BEST friend. God.
All the ten days that we were there, we got to sit in the first row.
For morning and evening darshans. Thanks to Mataji, with whom we would stand when the queues formed.
We would be the first ones to be let in. Crowds weren’t heavy those days and there were maybe 15-20 lines at the most.
Sai Kulwanth Hall had not come into being then. We would sit on sand. I would make doodles in the sand, while waiting for Swami.
Rajinder Aunty would nudge me and reprimand me gently,” Pray as you wait. Don’t do all this”!
But what was there to pray? I just wanted to “see” Him.”Be” with Him. I had nothing to ask Him or ask of Him.
Swami would spend a lot of time outside during darshan. He would talk to some. Joke with some others.
So magnificent was His persona. SO VERY CHARISMATIC.
It was difficult to take eyes off Him…so bewitchingly BEAUTIFUL.
He was so accessible. As He glided past, one could just reach out and touch HIS feet.
He NEVER once spoke to me, but EVERY time He went past, He would look at me. Look inside of me actually, so piercing was His gaze, that I would feel He was looking into my very soul.
Every time He went past He would that. Look deep into me.
I would stare back at Him, wondering if He would ask me something. He never did.
Sometimes a smile would start to form but I would bite my lips. I wasn’t going to smile first. What if HE didn’t return the smile?
We would keep it formal, I would think, to myself!
Rajinder Aunty took me around to all the places that needed to be seen. Swami’s birthplace, where a Shiva temple stood. Still does.
Swami’s home, where His relatives lived. The Sathyabhama-Krishna Temple, the Golkulam. We would go often to see Sai Geetha. Swami’s most adored pet.
Swami had said Sai Geetha was His ONLY true devotee. So devoted to Him was she.
In the evenings, when we were not out, visiting these places, we would be in Mataji’s room. She would regale us with all the ‘miracles’ she had witnessed and talk unceasingly about Bhagawan. I would sit, listening, enthralled.
Mataji took us to Prof. Kasturi’s residence too. ’Uncle’ Kasturi, a very erudite scholar, editor of the Sanathana Sarathi, author of several books, was a constant companion of Swami’s.
The ten days flew and were perhaps the best days of my life.
It was time to leave Prashanti Nilayam and go back to Bangalore and then to Delhi.
On the ninth day, Swami was leaving for Brindavan, White field. I was heartbroken. I had just one more day left and Swami was going away.
We would be deprived of darshans, on the last day.
Devotees lined up on either sides of the road, to catch a glimpse of the Beloved Lord as He would be driven past.
As the car drew up, I was getting over whelmed, “I am leaving tomorrow, Swami” I said to Him in my heart, getting very emotional.
As Swami came near me, He rolled down his window and blessed me with Abhaya-Hastha. (Blessings with both hands.)
I stood on the road side and shamelessly, cried. I would miss Him, ever so much.
I went back to Mataji’s room. Rajinder Aunty had said she would be there. Both Mataji and Rajunder Aunty tried all they could, to console me, saying all the right things, but I was inconsolable.
They were such perfect sweethearts.
Why did Swami have to leave that day? He could have left the day after, we left. I was such a mess.
The next day we were to leave after lunch. Around 10:00 AM there was a sudden burst of activity. People running past us at top speed. Rajinder Aunty looked at me and smiled, warmly.
Swami had returned.
I felt a huge wave, of the deepest kind of love, sweeping over me. My darling Swami, my MOST Beloved Swami had come back.
He wasn’t going to let me go back sad. He had promised Amma.
Swami would come for darshan we were told. We did have our last darshan, of that trip.
After that I was sad no more. I knew He would ALWAYS be there.
As I hugged Mataji good-bye she asked me to stay with her the next time I visited Puttaparthi.
I did. Every visit after that. Mataji had taken me in as her God child. I had a home in Parthi now.
Rajinder Aunty and I took a cab back to Bangalore. She dropped me off at Prem Chettan’s place.
She hugged me long and covered my face with loving kisses as she said goodbye to me.
I never saw her again. Our visits never coincided. She had been put in my life, for a purpose. The purpose was over.
Jai Sai RamCourtesy : http://www.indianewspost.com/lifestyle/48174-and_i_never_saw_her_after_that.htmlKarthika Nair is a freelance journalist and columnist. Spiritualism is her favorite subject. Besides, she writes on parenting and travel & tourism. Karthika has been an ardent devotee of Sri Sathya Sai Baba almost all her life and is actively into Sathya Sai activities, including being a Bal Vikas Guru to hundreds of children. She is also a reiki healer. She can be contacted at nairkarthika@hotmail.com
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Friendship is the expression of unshakable LOVE, LOVE that is noble, pure, free from desire or egoism.....Sairam  |
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